Sunday, April 22, 2018

Time to sort out the workbench


Utter chaos!


While I really should be finishing my Carthaginian elephant crew I have come to the realisation that my workbench (which gives it a whole artisanal air neither my skills nor it deserves) really needs sorting out.  Since before Christmas it has got encrusted with unopened packets of (oddly (or perhaps not) mainly female) figures which are burying my paintbrushes and other tools.  Inspired by a review in Miniature Wargames this month, I bunged off an order to Hobbies Ltd for a Hohbyzone organiser.  Now, I actually have a paint organiser on my desk but it is so disorganised I hadn't seen it for two years. 




A big heavy box turned up in well under 48 hours and I opened it up to find a quite terrifying number of pieces.  Fortunately, I had ordered an extra, optional drawer, which was packed separately, so I set to on making that on Friday.  The reviewer in Miniature Wargames said it was straightforward and he had assembled the whole thing in an hour.  Well, it took me around half that time to assemble one drawer but I am a DIY manqué. It left me stressed and tense and the look of the completed drawer brought back horrific memories of woodwork at school, where we had to make a box.  'Cut the wood on the waste side' bellowed my woodwork teacher (the memory of whom is so terrible my mind has completely erased his name and face, unlike all my other teachers, I realise) as I messed it up yet again. In fact that is the only single thing I learned from a year of woodwork.  In my school report that year I got D- for the subject.  'His work completely lacks any sense of care, accuracy or finish' wrote my woodwork teacher. I hadn't thought about woodwork classes for over forty years.




I had actually forgotten I had done them at all until I assembled this drawer.  A terrifying, suppressed memory of that ghastly room has now flooded back.  I am sure it has something to do with my complete hatred of undertaking any practical things to this day or, in the alternative, perhaps this skill is innate and I just don't have it.  I, very unfashionably, believe that some things (maths, music, sport, languages and art) need innate skills.  These cannot be learned, except to the most basic level.  You can do them or you can't. Your brain works like that or it doesn't.  No amount of tedious teaching can help, although, I suppose, I admit that I am very bad at learning things, as I am attempting to do with Spanish at present.  Basically, I am not interested in spending time learning how to do things.  Essentially, if I can't do something instantly (as I found I could with drawing) then I am not interested in learning it; as the fear is you waste endless hours on it and still find you can't do it.  Best not to waste the time and just accept you can't do it, as I do with DIY and modelling skills.


Crafty people love Gorilla glue.  I do not.


Still, I was very impressed with the material of this.  No smoked fish smelling, laser-cut flimsiness here.  It is good, solid plywood which is very well finished (made in Poland).  Fortunately, the Old Bat had some of the recommended Gorilla Glue (she has a lot of DIY stuff) to use on it, although I found the applicator totally baffling and ended up with it going on the floor, on my trousers and all over the bits of wood.  I decided to assemble the rest of it in the kitchen today, as the Old Bat was out of the way, otherwise I would have got ' you don't want to do it like that' comments, and I have run out of blood pressure pills at present.


On the move (on the move, we're on our way again  - as the theme to an early Bob Hoskins TV show used to go)


The plan is to install this crosswise on my desk (fortunately, it is the exact right size) but to do this I have to move all the other stuff, principally my plastic boxes of figures in progress (to use the term loosely).   I had a master plan for these in that they were going onto the shelves behind my chair where there were a lot of DVDs.  These are, ultimately, going into a new DVD storage case.  This whole operation is not so much juggling objects about but more a rather involved conveyancing chain but it will all contribute to the gradual tidying of my playroom, which is an utter tip at the moment.




So, this afternoon I found that the little Chinese take away boxes I keep my figures in fit perfectly on the shelf.  The Force is definitely with me on this one!  While moving them I also found a box of rocks which I had been looking for for weeks.  Tidying is good!




The worst part of my work bench is what lurks behind my computer screen.  What horrors lie behind it?  My screen is like the wall on Skull Island.  Out of side, out of mind.  Just looking at this photo I can see more figures, more paint, a WW1 tank fascine, some sort of Games Workshop tank and a load of paintbrushes I had completely forgotten about.  This will all have to come out but only after I had assembled the dreaded new storage unit.  I am already thinking about getting a couple more to go underneath it.




It is Sunday today and there was no paint table Saturday yesterday as we went down to Hampshire for the Old Bat's sister's sixtieth birthday lunch, which was very enjoyable. although the Old Bat glared at me for having  a pint of Itchen Valley Brewery Watercress Ale (which is brewed very close to the English Civil War battlefield of Cheriton).   So I was able to put the thing together on the kitchen table.  The man in Wargames Illustrated said it took him an hour but it took me an hour and forty five minutes.  I have to say that the fit of the pieces was just perfect.  I didn't have a soft headed hammer, as the instructions recommended (who has such a thing?) but a few good thumps with the side of my hand soon had everything in place, although I did resort to a hammer when attaching the base but only because my hand was becoming sore!




Finally, I gave it a coat of black spray paint so it matches with my other paint stand and my (nineties) desk.  I have now cleared the growing lead pile from my desk so next I have to remove everything else temporarily before starting to re-install things.




So by this evening I think I have cleared around one sixth of my desk but at least my original paint storage unit is now visible.  This is going to go behind my screen for storage purposes.  

10 comments:

  1. Congrats on getting it put together - I know that DIY isn't your thing. I agree that certain skills are innate although I find I can pick up some basic ability in most things but have to relearn it all over again if I don't keep it up.

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    1. I do feel quietly pleased with myself!

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    2. ...and so you should - you told me you didn't "do" MDF, but that looks amazing...!

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  2. Your memories of woodwork at school are uncannily like mine!!

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    1. The only thing I hated more than woodwork was French. And Physics. And Maths. And Chemistry!

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  3. Oh I do like a happy ending, well done that man.

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    1. I have two more sets of drawers coming now to go underneath.

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  4. Your assembly skills are now the stuff of legend (well they are to me).

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    1. I am amazed that it didn't sit in the box for a year before I dared start on it!

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