Showing posts with label Non-Wargaming highlights. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Non-Wargaming highlights. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 27, 2018

Non-wargaming highlights of 2017


Reconnecting with my old College friend K after 20 years was the best thing about 2017


Many of you (well, one or two) may have been thinking that you have escaped the dreaded Legatus reviews of the year, as it is now the end of February (although I started this post in January).  I have been working on a report for the government which has taken all of my time for months, even with five other people working on it too. It's still not quite done but it is on the way enough now that I can pause (and the light is too bad to paint, again) for a thrilling non-wargaming round-up..  My (rather sparse) wargaming highlights will follow later (probably about May).

Best Foreign Trip 




I had thought that I had got away with having no foreign trips this year but then two came up on successive weeks.  Firstly, I had to go back to Botswana for a long delayed follow up to my trip of 2016.  This may well engender more trips this year, as we attempt to help the future president sort some stuff out. They had ponced up the Avani Hotel in Gaborone which meant it had lost some of its faux colonial charm and there were no Miss Botswana contestants this time, although the restaurant waitresses were as lovely and efficient as ever.


Free wine in the Hotel Zaza


I got back from Botswana and just had time to run the washing machine before setting off for Houston on my way to El Salvador. This would have been a long journey, undertaken in one go, so I decided to stop off at the relentlessly trendy Hotel Zaza for a night, to recover my equilibrium.  I was joined by my particular friend Sophie which, as a result, made this my best trip of the year.  I hadn't seen her since 2013 and she seemed very pleased to see me, as was I her. The people at Hotel Zaza were so appalled by my travel schedule  that they kept supplying free glasses of wine.


Best UK Trip




This has to be the trip I made back to Oxford in June.  One of the many peculiarities about Oxford University (and a few others in Britain) is that every seven years after you start there you get invited back to a formal dinner called a Gaudy (from the 13th century song known as Gaudeamus Igitur - Let us rejoice, therefore), which your college pays for.  If you have ever watched Inspector Morse (where my college was known as Lonsdale College) or Lord Peter Wimsey you will know that these are usually occasions for much port-fuelled drunkenness, academic scandal, illicit affairs and murder. 


My first Gaudy in 1986.  Oh what cozy fun you could have in front of a college gas fire.  Health and Safety has now seen them all removed,  meaning you can' t cook your lady toast for breakfast the next morning, either.  Spoilsports!


Now I think I have attended every Gaudy except one and that was the one seven years ago (I was abroad, I think), so I haven't been back to one for fourteen years.  Invariably I go with my friend Bill who lives just three miles away and was best man at my wedding (twenty five years since the Day of Doom in July 2017).  Bill doesn't have much to do with College (as you always call it and with a capital 'C') as he is a Champagne socialist (the worst kind) who sort of feels guilty for attending Oxford.  Also attending the first three were my ex-girlfriends and V.  Like all of us, they were very fond of port and the abiding memory of previous gaudies was waking up the next day with splitting headaches and trudging to Brown's to fill up on the most absorbent food possible.  Oddly, I never went to Brown's when I was at College (the one in Oxford was the first one, I think) despite the alluring prospect of waitresses in short skirts (no other women wore short skirts in 1979) and fishnet tights.   This was because there was always a queue and then, as now, the Legatus does not queue for restaurants or pretty much anywhere else unless he is going through security.  This is why I always arrive at Salute an hour after the doors open!  One of my girlfriends at St Hugh's did dress up in a black miniskirt and fishnet tights (this was when I learned that to make fishnet tights look good you have to wear them over a pair of normal tights) when she cooked me spaghetti Bolognese (their signature dish at the time) once, to provide an alternate Brown's experience.





However, my friend Bill was due to start a ludicrous bike ride from Caen to Cannes (via Mont Ventoux!) on the Saturday morning so couldn't attend.  This was very disappointing, as a gaudy is definitely something which is easier to attend if you go with someone.  My ex-girlfriend J hadn't attended since 1993.  I would just have to go on my own.  As a sort of training I attended the College summer party in London  but not a single person from my year attended.  There were some people from the two years above but I never got to know them, really.  In my first year I was in a very intense relationship with one of my fellow lawyers (the one who liked Scotch Woodcock) and when we weren't in the law library we were...doing other things.  In the second year my attention was focussed on the Oxford Union (my son has been on the committee since October, which is something of an honour) and so I never really got to know that many people in my College very well.  As my friend pointed out once, apart from three men the only other people in College I kept in touch with were ex-girlfriends.  This can, of course, be the source of some delicacy (or even a little excitement in a couple of cases) when meeting again years later.

Then, some weeks later, I was contacted out of the blue by another old College girlfriend K, who was the best friend of my first red-headed girlfriend, C, (maybe I need a diagram for all this).  C always thought I was having an affair with K (which I wasn't - well not at the time) and, indeed the Old Bat didn't like me going to see K for dinner when we lived in Chelsea and K lived in Battersea.  and I never did have a fling (well, not really - maybe a flinglet.  Or three.) but although she was one of my very best friends, I hadn't seen her for twenty years.  Now the mother of three strapping boys she said she was not going to the gaudy as she was a small, grey, middle aged Jewish housewife and everyone else would be very grand.  However, we met up in London shortly afterwards and it was like there had been no intervening twenty years at all. She didn't seem to have changed appreciably in the interim and was very fit looking indeed.  Anyway, almost immediately after we met up, K said that she had changed her mind ad had applied to go to the gaudy after all.  She couldn't get a room in College so would be staying in a bed and breakfast miles out in Cowley. 





Having had a horrible drive via the M25 which took two and a half hours instead of an hour and fifteen minutes I turned up and picked up my room key.  They try and put you in your old room, if they can and this happened to me once but it is quite spooky and that room from my first year had some bad memories of C and our Hindenburg like disintegrating relationship (like when she poured a kettle of boiling water on my leg during an argument, leaving a scar that I would have for twenty years).  They did, however, put me in the same staircase, in the converted eighteenth century houses at the unfashionable end of College known as the Arab Quarter, for its dark, arched access and generally seedy atmosphere.   I went up to look at the door to my old room on the top floor and was appalled by the presence of carpet instead of red lino on the floors.  The old wooden stairs were still there though, which we used to jump down three at a time to the annoyance of the other inhabitants of the staircase. 





In my day, the bathrooms of my male only staircase were in the unheated basement and my room was on the top floor necessitating long, tedious descents to the freezing facilities but I saw, as I approached my guest room for the night, that there was a modern  bathroom.   There was no bath of course, the lovely one on Heberden staircase, which and I would inhabit in candle lit luxury during the evenings after a tutorial, having been replaced by a utilitarian shower, sadly.  The real shock was the rather lovely room I had been assigned.  It had a huge double bed and a sofa and a strange keyboard thing.  I've stayed in much worse hotel rooms (especially in the Baltic States and Poland).





"This is lovely!" said K, bouncing on the bed like her eighteen year old previous self, rather than her fifty-six year old present one.  She immediately cancelled her bed and breakfast and decided to bunk in with me; thus solving the worrying problem of how she was going to negotiate the cobbles in Radcliffe Square in her high heels.  Good job my friend Bill was preparing to cycle across France as he would have been appalled by such disreputable behaviour; he is a very moral person and and I am...less so.  We got changed together and K immediately proved her worth as she could still tie a bow tie; something that always stressed me out and used to take me endless attempts.  She always tied my bow tie for College events and exams in the past. I struggle with shoelaces and never undo mine but jam my feet into already tied shoes with a shoehorn so I don't have to retie them.  It often takes me four or five attempts to deal with my normal tie, too.  I am not good at hand to eye co-ordination, hence my inability to make wargames scenery, play ball games or do DIY.  K managed my bow tie  in about eight seconds despite me doing my best to distract her as she stood there in her stockings (the fact that she still wears these being another nice nostalgic moment).  





We went to chapel before the pre-dinner reception, which is something I never did when I was there (except at Christmas) but K was in the choir.  We sat there and tried to identify the people sitting opposite.  'He hasn't changed.' 'He has really aged'.  'Who is she?' etc.  People on either side helpfully identified those we didn't know.  It was a hot day and warm in the chapel and half way through K kicked off her high heels, took her stockings off, rolled them up into a ball and gave them to me to put in my pocket, somewhat to the surprise of the lady sitting next to her (a chemist, I think).  The drinks reception took place in the small quad known as the deer park; an ironic reference to Magdalen College which has a real deer park.  The small patch of grass there used to be inhabited by the college tortoise but I have no idea what happened to him.  Eight out of twelve lawyers from my year attended, surprisingly, and it was nice to see my old friend A who now lives in Hong Kong.  Fortunately and not surprisingly, my ex girlfriend was not there, as ever, as that would have been really difficult. Neither were my other four ex-girlfriends from College, fortunately.  would have soon seen them off anyway. 





The old benches had given way to chairs in Hall and none of those sitting against the wall risked the old technique of climbing over the table to get to their seats. The food was very good although the red wine with dinner was not really up to College standards, I have to say.  It did get hotter and hotter inside and was the usual torture for the men while many of the women got away with floaty dresses and remained cool.  Fortunately we all escaped into the quad while they re-laid the table for dessert.





I think it says something about modern times that a (much, much better) red wine was also offered with dessert and the Port was hardly touched.  In fact it didn't even circulate as far as me as two women sitting further down the table didn't pass it on.  They would have been sconced (made to drink a quart of beer in one go while standing on the table and apologising in Latin) in my time.  I suspect not so many people drink port these days. 

Eventually getting to bed much earlier than in previous gaudies, K asked me when the last time was we had shared a bed. The Principe di Savoia hotel in Milan in 1988, I replied.  Before I met the Old Bat of course.  I think, anyway.  Maybe not. At least we woke up the next day without port induced headaches and could have a nice walk in the Botanical Gardens again. The next gaudy isn't until 2024 (a science fiction sounding date) by which time I will be dead. 


Best encounter with very large piece of military hardware.



Sailing around the USS George W Bush in the Solent.  Many years ago we sailed around the USS Dwight D Eisenhower, anchored in the same spot.  With the 'Ike' my father in law sailed behind it and dipped his white ensign, which means that technically any naval ship has to respond.  We were all amazed and impressed by the fact that the US Navy crew dipped their ensign (which was bigger than our yacht) in reply.  


Best Book (non-military)




I bought a lot of books in the second half of 2017 and I got quite a lot from the Folio Society, including their splendid Ian Fleming James Bond edition (four published so far).  Mostly I got art books, though, including ones on Boucher, Renoir, Klimt and one of my favourites, Anders Zorn.  Although I sorted out my large art books I have now run out of space for them, hence my current wargames magazines cull. 




In addition, I bought the remaining three books I was missing from the Don Lawrence Trigan Empire edition.  The only comic strip I ever read, from Look & Learn magazine, a Dutch publisher put this luxurious and limited (500 copies) edition together ten years ago but at about £70 for each of the 12 volumes it has taken me some time to collect them all.  If I had lots of money and didn't have to pay £17,000 a year for my children's university accommodation (grrr!) I would commission a series of figures based on the illustrations for The Trigan Empire.

I have not done so well on reading books with just words, except Victorian erotica, which my friend Angela keeps recommending to me (she is an erotic sort of woman).  I read The Lost World again, which is one of the few books I can read over and over.  I started it again when I took delivery of my Antediluvian Allosaurus.





My favourite book which I bought in 2017, though, has to be The Libertine, which is 500 pages of eighteenth century illustrations coupled with racy literature from the time. It won an award as best hard backed trade book at the New York Book Show and is one of the most beautiful books I own.  You could stick four legs on it and call it a coffee table, though.  I still haven't quite worked out where to put it, however.


Best Film



I went to see two films at the cinema this year: Star Wars: Rogue One and Blade Runner 2.  I didn't enjoy either very much and wouldn't watch them again on DVD.  The world is depressing enough at present without watching more depressing stuff.  I did buy quite a few films on DVD but haven't watched any of them yet.  I did start to watch The Lost City of Z (I bought the book some years ago in Borders in Washington DC), for some South American Lost World inspiration but Brad Pitt was hopelessly miscast and could never act anyway.  He seemed to be putting all of his effort into maintaining his English accent and sleepwalking through the rest. I gave up half way through,as it was so widescreen and was filmed in such a way that all the action seemed to be taking place in a tiny area in the centre of the screen. I couldn't see what was going on, basically.  I need a bigger TV!  I nearly bought one on Black Friday in John Lewis in Edinburgh but the Old Bat is very anti.  We need a new cooker basically, first, she maintains (Charlotte dropped a very heavy saucepan on the ceramic top).  The Old Bat is a depressingly practical person.


Best TV Show 



I very much enjoyed the second series of Versailles, which was better than the first and actually contained a battle scene in one episode (I still haven't found my 1672 figures, though) as well as a rather splendid naked pregnant lady, which you don't get on TV that often (not even on the horrifically fascinating Naked Attraction).    Having discovered that I had Eurosport, I watched the live coverage of the three big cycling tours, which took nine weeks of evening viewing, so there wasn't a lot of time for the many boxed sets (not box sets! Grrr!) I bought.  The Old Bat and I both enjoyed the soapy The Halcyon, set in a big London hotel at the beginning of World War 2 but ITV cancelled it.  I quite enjoyed the production design of Genius, about Einstein, the second season of The Last Kingdom but wasn't so convinced by Jamestown. I did enjoy the second series of bodice ripping Forty Five rebellion DVD boxed set Outlander. 



A deliciously young and fresh Polly Walker in Poirot


My biggest discovery was in buying the complete set of Poirot at Sainsbury's.  I was aware of it, of course and had even watched the Death on the Nile feature length episode but I hadn't seen any of the others.  What a revelation!  It must have cost a fortune.  Fantastic interiors, wonderful cars, motor yachts, foreign locations, car racing at Brooklands (just up the road from here) lovely actresses in thirties clothes, vintage planes (even a seaplane in one episode and a Dragon Rapide), liners (filmed on board the Queen Mary)  and the best TV series title sequence ever made!.  


Best Music

Actual CDs!


Film and TV music

Lots of iTunes purchases this year and even a few actual CDs.  Soundtracks included: Star Wars: The Last Jedi Star Wars: Rogue One  (which was really quite a good pastiche of the John Williams style by Michael Giacchino (a last minute replacement for the otherwise engaged and overrated Alexandre Desplat)), Harry Potter: the Prisoner of AzkabanThe Mummy (the Tom Cruise one), The Mummy: The Tomb of the Dragon Emperor,  the extended version of Starship Troopers, The Right Stuff, the extended version of The Rocketeer, Jurassic Park 1, 2 and 3 extended versions and Alexander.  Classic scores included Max Steiner's The Adventures of Don Juan and The Charge of the Light BrigadeSalome, the extended version of The Wind and the Lion (even though I haven't see the film) and the The Man who Would be King (which I still haven't seen either),.TV music included Agent Carter, Inspector Morse and Tutankhamun

Jazz

Big band music from Ted Heath and Ivy Benson, a disc of German dance band music from the 192os an Edith Piaf compilation, several albums by Canadian singer Sophie Milman and Turn up the Quiet by Diana Krall

Pop and Folk

Mike Oldfield's rather disappointing Return to Ommadawn, Vittrad from Swedish folk band Garmana, Two Steps from Hell's Unleashed, Rick Wakeman's Piano Portraits and Seven Wonders of the World, some Steeleye Span, Sky 4, Illumination by The Medieaval Baebes, Wilde Roses by two of the Baebes, and Encore! by Barachois (a French Canadian folk group I saw live in Prince Edward Island once).

World Music

A couple of albums (do they still call them albums) from oud player Simon Shaheen and Qantara. and several more albums of belly dancing music,

Classical

Lots of opera this year. Wagner's The Flying Dutchman, Tristan und IsoldeThe Valkyrie and Siegfried , Rameau's Hippolyte Et Aricie and Les Indes Galantes. Also Minkus' Don Quixote, Richard Strauss' Don Quixote and Sinfonia Domestica, Mozart The Symphonies, Stravinsky chamber suites, Forkladd Gud by Larsson, Neilsen's 4th Symphony, some Brahm's, D'Indy's Symphony on a French Mountain Song and quite a lot of piano and organ music by various composers, including a great suite of music from Star Wars played on the organ, which wins the prize of the most played of my 2017 acquisitions..  More contemporary stuff included Australian saxophonist Amy Dickson's Philip Glass CD, John Adams Harmonielehre, Elizabeth Hainen's, Home solo works for harp and Claire Jones' latest harp disc.


 Best Artistic Discovery

Reclining nude on day bed (1900)


I have discovered lots of minor orientalist painters this year as well as many new painters active in the first part of the twentieth century.  Of these,  I really liked Giovanni Boldini (1842-1931), who was known as 'the master of swish' for the active way he used paint to produce sensuous pictures of women.


Best Exhibition



I went to a number of excellent exhibitions this year with my various 'art mistresses'.  The Lord Leighton one was superb, bringing together nearly all the the paintings depicted in a famous photograph of his studio, taken the week after his death, back to his studio for the first time since.  I also enjoyed the Modigliani exhibition which had around twenty of the thirty or so nudes for which he is most famous in the same room.  Overall, though. it had to be the Alma-Tadema exhibition (also held at Leighton House) which was the biggest exhibition of his work for a hundred years and included many of my favourites as well as an excellent film show on how his paintings have influenced the depiction of the ancient world in the cinema,.


 Best meal 



This was, perhaps surprisingly, at the Monarch restaurant in the Hotel Zaza in Houston, despite severe jet lag. When asking for steak in the US you usually have to accept some overcooked lump with the same consistency as a hockey puck.  I like my steak so blue that is is still moving about.  In a restaurant in Las Vegas once I actually had to sign a disclaimer to the effect that if I was ill afterwards I couldn't sue them.  The chef at the Monarch, however, pulled off the best fillet steak I have ever had in the Americas.  It was meltingly soft, red in the middle but still hot (the real trick with blue meat). It being Texas it was also huge too.  Lovely garlic mash and Madeira and mushroom sauce as well Delicious crab cake to start too!


Best wine 



I don't drink a lot of white wine these days, as my doctors (a lovely new Iraqi doctor at the medical practice this year) don't like it but, because of a stage of the Giro d'Italia, I tried Peccorino for the first time and it was particularly nice.


Best Beer




I have had to cut down on beer too but enjoyed the York Brewery triple pack my sister bought me back from a weekend in York.


Best Breakfast




I haven't had any really outstanding breakfasts this year. but the most unexpectedly good one was in the Plaza Premium Lounge at Terminal 2, waiting for my flight to Houston.  The curse of most restaurant breakfasts in the UK are poor quality catering sausages but the ones in the breakfast buffet in the lounge were outstanding.


Best new cheese



I got some of the Isle of Wight Cheese Company's imaginatively named Isle of Wight soft in Comes.  It  is like a a cross between Brie and Camembert except it has the advantage of not putting my money into the French economy. Very nice with cornichons. Alright, for these you have to buy French, I admit.


Best new food discovery



When I was out in El Salvador someone told me that there was somewhere in London that sold spreadable chorizo.  What genius, I thought.  It is like topless swimsuits or magnums of claret.  It turns out it hails from Majorca and is not exactly cheap but for a World Health Organisation taunting snack is perfect.


Most unexpected postal delivery





A big box of stuff from the New York Bakery Company (actually based in Rotherham) when I mentioned on their Facebook page that I couldn't find their wholemeal bagels (due to 'production difficulties').  Bagels, a mug, a pen and Tesco vouchers.  Top customer service, chaps!


Most unexpectedly complicated thing





Having, for the first time, to work out how to operate a lock on the Thames to enable my father in law to get his river launch into the boatyard for winter storage.  My father in law, who was ninety last week, is a very clever man and depressingly able with his hands,  He was a heart surgeon and was number two on Britain's first heart transplant.  He is also an engineer who built a portable kidney machine and restores cars and boats.  He finds my inability to do practical things quite baffling. It took me twenty minutes to work out how to operate the lock, despite the presence of (not very clear, I thought) instructions on the machines.


Second most unexpectedly complicated thing and best improvement to my study





My desk chair had broken earlier in the year which meant that I could only sit in it by leaning forward awkwardly, which meant the blood to my feet got cut off.  Eventually, I went to John Lewis for a new one, where the nice lady said that the chair came in four parts and was easy to assemble.  What a lie!  It took me well over an hour but has transformed my sitting (and therefore blogging and painting) experience!

The even less anticipated wargames review next!

Saturday, January 07, 2017

Non-wargaming highlights 2016



The Legatus hard at work in Gaborone


Although the end of 2016 is a week behind us I have been working seven days a week to finalise a report and complete a bid document, which I did yesterday, so now I have time for my 'eagerly awaited'' non-wargaming review of the year.  My wargaming highlights will follow in due course.


Best Trip



Bechuanaland.  It's great!


Although I went to Turkey in 2015, I really thought my days of foreign travel were winding down, as the job I began that year really didn't have any foreign travel (I did go to Birmingham, which was a first).  However, I wasn't enjoying the new job at all: too much spreadsheet work, terrible bosses, tedious clients and a concentration on process over outcomes.  The staff turnover rate should have been a giveaway. I discussed what I wanted to work on and they discussed what they wanted me to work on ("we would like you to promote IT services"  Hollow laugh.).  I am too old to be doing something I hate so we agreed to part ways.  Fortunately, someone I had been working with off and on for fifteen years said: "We really need you!  Join us!" so I did. It's also back to working at home again, as I wasn't enjoying the commuting.  The only downside is that the foreign travel is back  It involved just two trips but they were for nearly three weeks each; the longest I had done since 2008.  The first was to South Africa and Botswana and the second was to Sierra Leone and Liberia (to which I might have to return in two weeks time).





The trip to Botswana was really excellent: working with competent, switched on people, staying at a lovely hotel, getting out at the weekend to see some wildlife and meeting the (young) contestants for the Miss Botswana contest who were staying at the same hotel as I was. 

Me:  "And what do you do when you are not wafting around looking lovely in beauty contests?"

Leggy lovely:  "I'm at school!"

Oh dear.


On location in front of the Liberian equivalent of Companies House with my man on the ground, who was a top fellow and seemed to know everyone in the country


Liberia was a very different proposition.  Monrovia, the capital, has a population of one million people of whom only 8,000 have running water and 6,500 have electricity.  As regards ICT connectivity it ranks 197th in the world.  It's the first really third world place I have been to.  Hit by two civil wars and the Ebola crisis they deserve better. The sums of money they need to get significant things done is derisory, really.  


The view from the Liberian Telecoms Authority HQ.  Remembered to take my Malaria tablets!  


They need $15 million to install a fibre optic broadband ring for the capital.  One house in Oxshott sold for more than twice that this year.  Part of the problem is the aid agencies, who all compete with each other, don't co-operate and are more interested in pushing their national agenda than really helping.  I've not worked with them before but not impressed.  They all seemed to be staffed by twenty something ladies with no experience who seemed as adrift as the locals they were supposed to be helping. "Some of the ugliest women I have ever seen.  They can''t get on in their own countries so come out here in desperation!" said my colleague, cruelly saying out loud what I had been thinking.  I was reminded of the saying in the City when I first worked theire in the eighties: "Failed in London, try Hong Kong".   Failed in Washington DC, try Monrovia. perhaps.  


The road goes ever on and on (or, at least, to Monrovia airport)


Fortunately, there is one world class hotel in Liberia and we were staying in it.  It had two good restaurants (one of which was really, really good) and a slinky bar which was usually full of dangerous looking local girls and a few desperate aid agency people using the wi-fi.  In fact the donut (American spellings, of course in Liberia) shop in the hotel was the business hub of the country, as all the aid agency women came into to  it to hijack the wi-fi.

Athletic (my colleague may have found them ugly but they all obviously worked out a lot and looked fit as fornicate) aid agency woman: ""What can I get you in exchange for using your room wi-fi password?

Me: "A cup of tea would be nice!" (I know my worth).

It is rather appalling that these poor ladies have to prostitute themselves in this way for internet access.  I did see one man asking for a kiss (he was French) as a joke (I hope) but I could see the flicker across the lady's face as she wondered whether she actually might have to do this.  Dreadful!


Worst trip




Well, most frustrating really.  Driving up the A1 to Edinburgh, to collect Charlotte's stuff, and not being able to stop at the Shuttleworth Collection, Melton Mowbray, York, Lindisfarne or Hadrian's Wall.  I did see the Angel of the North, though which is, appropriately, rusty.


Biggest upheaval 


Guy enjoys being with slinky TV actress Michelle Keegan while we stay at home and do his packing


Guy going off to university. Guy had a had a rotten year, with a severe back injury (a broken vertebrae) which, essentially. meant he couldn't sit without constant paint.  This had impacted on his studying and having done badly in his A-levels he had to have a year off and do retakes in the summer (while still in severe pain) and go through the last minute clearing process.  He had been offered a place at Plymouth but we weren't too keen as it was, again, hundreds of miles away.  Having done his research and rung up target universities he was offered a place at Oxford Brookes on clearing day - a much better (and closer, thankfully) university than Plymouth.  We were very pleased until he disappeared the day before he had to go to Oxford on a VIP ticket to Southampton boat show and the day before I had to fly to Sierra Leone, leaving the Old Bat and I to do all his packing.  Still, he is enjoying it, has joined the Oxford Union. like I did, and has just found out he has got a first for his first module.  Good boy!


Best day out 




We went to and from to Oxford quite a lot but as Guy is not based in the centre of town (although he is only just over Magdalen Bridge on the Iffley Road) I didn't, frustratingly, get to wander around any of my old haunts.  However, when we picked him up just before Christmas I did and enjoyed visiting my old college.  We have a college Gaudy this year, which take place every seven years after you first started.  They usually try to put you in your old room which can be quite spooky.  I didn't go to the last one and hopefully I am now too old to end up doing disreputable things with old girlfriends after too much college port, as happened on every previous occasion.






My daughter, Charlotte, couldn't get out of bed to join us, needless to say, but it was just as well as, much to my surprise, the butchers' shops in the Covered Market still have very Dickensian displays of hanging meat outside their shops for Christmas.  Charlotte, as a vegetarian, would not have been impressed!  I remember my American girlfriend, B, being appalled by this when she saw it in 1980!


Best Wildlife




As opposed to best dead wildlife (see above) was spotting a badger in the garden.  I have never seen one before and was very excited by it.  Even more exciting than seeing a hippo in Botswana, because at least I have seen those before in a zoo.   The Old Bat was not too amused when it dug a big hole in the  flower bed looking for wasp larvae, though.


Best Book (non-military)




My particular friend, A, bought me this wonderful book on Pulp artist supreme, Norman Saunders.(1907-1989).  Best known, these days, as the painter of the original Mars Attacks trading cards his pulp covers from the thirties, forties and fifties are marvellous; full of two-fisted heroes and scantily clad damsels in peril.  Fortunately, he lived long enough to see himself become a cult favourite and his paintings rocket in value.


Best Film


Lea Seydoux, walks like a Frenchwoman


The only film I saw at the cinema this year was Spectre, which I enjoyed (much more than the dreary Skyfall) partly because it was set in places I knew really well, like Mexico City, Rome and Vauxhall. The car chase in Rome reminded me of a hair raising drive I took, after a reception, with a lady Italian insurance broker in a Lancia through the streets of Rome at two in the morning, where she went the wrong way down a dual carriageway tunnel 'to save time'.




On DVD I tended to buy TV series rather than films and many of the films I did buy I haven't watched yet.  I had great expectations of the Legend of Tarzan but, apart from some reasonably accurate Force Publique uniforms and a very nice Congo river steamer, it was a bit of a disappointment.  It was filmed in the now almost ubiquitous washed out monochrome style that is so common today.  As  result, the steaming jungle came across as cold and dank.  It wasn't helped by the fact that, apart from one or two establishing shots, it wasn't filmed in Africa, either.  Objectively a much worse film but subjectively, for me, much more enjoyable was Gods of Egypt.  Utter nonsense but full of lovely, scantily-clad women, ludicrously over the top set design and bright colours.  I am not interested in this trend in film and TV for 'darker' and 'grittier'.   I want TV and film to be escapist entertainment.  The real world is dark and gritty enough as it is.

Best TV Show




Even the Old Bat watched War and Peace ("Who's that? Who is she? Whose relation is he?" etc.) which I thought was splendidly produced.  Again, I was familiar with some of the locations in Lithuania. the costumes were wonderful and the interiors were stunning. Most shocking thing about it was to see how Greta Scacchi had aged (compared with the suspiciously ageless Gillian Anderson, who returned in the X-Files).   Some years ago Charlotte (then signed up to a modelling agency) was offered the opportunity of playing Greta Scacchi's daughter in a TV series. "One of you will have to be with her at all times on set!" they said.  I volunteered instantly but in the end budget cuts saw the number of Scacchi's character's children cut from three to two and I never had the chance to go and sit adoringly at La Scacchi's feet.





Many of the shows I did enjoy, like Dickensian, Indian Summers, Jekyll and Hyde and Atlantis (which was much improved and should have featured the quest for the Golden Fleece in the third series) were all cancelled.  We saw the scheduled end of the Musketeers (weak third series) and Mr Selfridge (unhistorical but uplifting happy ending).  Biggest discovery was slightly Mills and Boonsy Jacobite rebellion time travel drama Outlander which my friend A introduced me to.   Excellent Scottish locations and a feisty female lead.  I started looking for wargames figures for the period and then saw sense when I thought about plaid and tartan.




I also enjoyed Versailles which improved as the series went on once you worked out which bewigged mustachioed man was which. It has got me thinking about my 1672 figures, which I have somewhere around!  There was a ridiculous clamour in the press about how raunchy it was but only if you are a suppressed Briton; with an MP joining in the kerfuffle (shouldn't you be running the country not worrying about what people watch on TV?)  Once the first episode had been shown the Daily Mail carefully published a screen shot, with timings, of every sex scene (with all the 'naughty' bits blacked out). "First episode sees no less than seven blush-inducing sex scenes" they gasped. They reported that viewers were so shocked they switched off in droves (actually, it did quite well in the ratings).  The French producers were baffled by the UK reaction to the nudity and sex scenes as French audiences hadn't batted an eyelid.. There had been some complaints in France about the show but they centred around some historical inaccuracies and, above all, the fact that it had been filmed in English, not French (sensibly, as it has now been sold to 135 countries).  The DVD boxed set of the first series carries a tous publics rating in France. That is a 'U' certificate, the same as a Disney cartoon, because the French realise that sex isn't disgusting, shameful or something to be hidden from youngsters.  This continued embarrassment about sex may help to explain why the British teenage pregnancy rate is twice that of France.





My favourite guilty pleasure was Hooten and the Lady, which was basically Relic Hunter with the nationalities of the lead characters reversed. What I really liked about it was that, in many cases, it used real locations: Rome, Namibia, Angkor Wat: instead of all the old Alias style redressing Los Angeles tricks.  For the same reason I didn't enjoy Tutankhamun (filmed in South Africa) compared with the superior version of the same story made by the BBC, Egypt (2005), which was shot in Egypt and, indeed, in the Valley of the Kings itself.  I am afraid that I am someone who appreciates, locations, sets and costumes more than writing and acting; which is why I hate the theatre!


Best Music




In January I had my hard drive fail and although I had all my iTunes tracks backed up I lost all my playlists so had to manually repopulate more than 20,000 tracks into several hundred new playlists.  I still haven't quite finished this process so it means I have not synched my iPod with my computer for nearly a year, so I can't listen to new music on my iPod yet.  There have been over 1000 new tracks again this year.

You can never have enough Russian romantic classical music and in 2016 I have added symphonies by Khachaturian,  Grechaninov and  Glazunov. Lots of Verdi and Puccini too; mainly thanks to the CD sale at Freshwater lifeboat charity shop on the Isle of Wight.  There was South American music by Villa-Lobos and Piazolla. Baroque music by Lully was down to Versailles (he appeared in one of the episodes).

Biggest discovery of the year was Melikov's ballet music to Legend of Love; a a Khachaturian style piece of orientalist exotica which I have played  a lot.

As regards contemporary music I added Stuart Mitchell's Seven Wonders Suite and The Musical Zodiac by Debbie Wiseman.  I also downloaded some Michael Nyman concertos.  My young niece studied music at Bristol and then the Royal Northern College of Music.  You need to get a proper job, we said.  You can't make a career from music.  One year out of college and she has been working with Damon Albarn, Michael Bublé, Cameron Mackintosh and...Michael Nyman.

I tend to paint to film soundtracks and this year added: First Men in the Moon, Journey to the Center of the Earth, Black Sails, Star Trek TV soundtracks, Mysterious Island, Ripper Street, King Solomon's Mines (the Richard Chamberlain one as the Stewart Grainger one, famously has no soundtrack score). Thunderbirds are Go, Clash of the Titans (complete edition) The Legend of Tarzan, Game of Thrones series 5. Young Sherlock Holmes and the Pyramid of Fear and Gods of Egypt. 

I didn't buy any rock or pop this year as I just don't like very much of it.  I did get another album by Portuguese Fado singer Mariza and have also been enjoying French cabaret music from the twenties and thirties by Lys Gauty.


Best Artistic discovery




Lots of interesting late nineteenth century and early twentieth artists came to my attention this year but foremost among these was German painter Leo Putz (1869-1940) whose luminous nudes have served as wallpaper on my computer quite a lot. 


Best Sporting event




It is very rare indeed that I attend a sporting event but it was good to get to a couple of NFL games at Twickenham and Wembley this year, thanks to my FCO friend who had spare tickets.  I hadn't been to a game since I went to one in Philadelphia in 2009.  That said, I have been enjoying the one hour highlights on Sky rather than all the faffing around you get in live games.  




At least live you have cheerleaders to look at while the American TV stations take commercial breaks.   Here the Los Angeles Rams ladies demonstrate the Svinfylking at Twickenham.  That reminds me, I wonder when The Last Kingdom is coming back?


Food and Drink highlights

Best meal



This was, surprisingly, at the Royal Grand Hotel's excellent Asian restaurant in Monrovia.  Chinese, Thai and Japanese food all cooked by Lebanese people!

Best wine




Well not the best but the most enjoyable was after two weeks of no wine, because I was travelling with  a teetotaller, getting through a couple (well, alright, three) bottles with a nice South African lady by the pool in Gaborone.  Frankly. after two weeks with no wine anything would have been nice!  I was very impressed with the Champteloup Rose d'Anjou I had while watching the Tour de France on TV.  It is everything a Rose d'Anjou should be and almost never is.  Yum!

Best Beer



I have had some strange ones on my travels and I really enjoyed the Badger's Poacher's Ale the Old Bat got me for Christmas but I thunk the one I liked best was the Waterloo ale which turned up, unexpectedly, in Liberia.

Best Breakfast



A clear winner here for the Braid Hills Hotel in Edinburgh.  Just what you need before a ten and a half hour drive!


Goodbye to...





My mother, at the age of 86, after  years of Alzheimer's, the last four of which were in  a home.  We have just heard today that she will be interred in her local churchyard directly opposite the 3rd Earl of Lucan, who gave the order for the Charge of the Light Brigade!.

Wargaming highlights next!