Thursday, January 08, 2015

Je Suis Charlie



Interestingly, many other bloggers today have been showing support and offering condolences following the cowardly attack in Paris yesterday.  Now, I am not a political person at all and think that something as personal as politics is best not discussed but this event has hit home.

I come from a family of journalists: my grandfather was editor of Films and Filming and Dance Band Journal, my uncle was associate editor of the Daily Mail and editor of the Sunday Dispatch, my aunt worked for BBC news and my mother was beauty editor of Woman's Own.  Even my sister worked at the Church of England Newspaper in her year off between school and university.  My journalistic output has been much less exalted and at school and university on the art direction side (school magazine, Isis and the Oxford Union Magazine).  These days my writing is confined to trade magazines with the occasional foray into men's magazines and genre magazines under a number of noms de plumes.  However, I do consider myself both a writer and an artist and in a alternative life could have well seen myself working at a magazine.  So an attack on a magazine's offices, because of its output, does give me cause to think.  Now, I do think that journalists have become rather too precious as regards their importance (there was a lot of self-righteous nonsense around the UK phone hacking scandals last year) and the job itself has been demeaned by the rise of social media and internet  news "writers" but they do have a key role in speaking out and challenging views in any society

One of my friends on the Oxford Union magazine, Phil Geddes, did go on to be a journalist and was killed by the IRA bomb outside Harrods in 1983.  He had heard about the alert and went to the scene to investigate (which is one of the reasons I tend to lose my cool over people who wargame Ireland 1916 or any form of terrorist game).  

My sister worked, for many years, as an anti-terrorism expert (she is the person responsible for the ban on litter bins in British railway and underground stations for so many years) for a secretive government organisation.  She spent two years at British Army HQ in Northern Ireland and travelled all over the world advising other organisations like the FBI, the Sri Lankan and Greek governments on counter-terrorism.  She left the service before the Gulf War, so never had to deal with the threat of Islamic terrorists but I do remember her saying to me that you could deal with Irish terrorism (from both sides) to a large extent because the perpetrators had some rules and basically thought like us.  This, she said, is not the case with Islamic terrorists.  You can never beat them, just try to stop as many attacks as you can, principally because they don't care if they die.  This is, of course, a source of frustration for those who believe that some military war on terror will work.  It won't.  Basically, we're stuck with this situation.  It would be nice if there was a simple solution but there isn't and movements like this will always attract the psychotic, disadvantaged and vengeful.

All we can do is try to contain it and that will involve some loss of freedoms which, no doubt, the same freedom of speech proponents outraged at this attack will decry.  Personally, I don't object to identity cards or my location or emails being monitored.  A few years ago I was speaking to the government of a Canadian city about the London Oystercard, which they were interested in.  They were horrified when I told them that one of the key requirements of the project was to provide location details of each card holder to the authorities.  Equally, they would not support the congestion zone system we have as it is based on licence plate recognition, However, we are in a war and in a war you have to give up these freedoms.  

The west is under attack from groups of people (not all Muslims but some Muslims) who follow a completely different ethical path from most of us.  Now, principally, one of the key questions is to what extent is this really a religious war or is religion being used as a front for those with other agenda?  There were elements of this in Northern Ireland. The American security forces spend a lot of time using Muslim religious leaders to explain to terrorists how what they are doing does not accord with the teaching of Islam but that, of course, assumes the proponents really are genuinely religious.

There are only two routes we can go: carry on as we are and suffer increasing numbers of attacks or fight back in such a way that we descend to the same level as our attackers (which may be exactly what they want, as it increases recruitment).  I suspect the latter is not likely given the recent outrage here over supposed torture being used on terror suspects in Gauntanamo Bay.  Our own civilised nature will prevent us from taking the sort of extreme measures needed.  

The best way to fight an evil idea is to not be frightened by it.  After all, Islamic militants in Syria use terror to convert "infidels" which is not a very good advertisement for the validity of their belief system.  I did consider not mentioning this issue today as someone I was speaking to said your blog, at least, could become a target for Islamic militant hackers.  While I think this is very unlikely indeed that just confirmed that I should, indeed, say something.  As Bob Cordery pointed out, in his far more eloquent post, it is those who do not speak out who contribute to the success of terror.

Tuesday, January 06, 2015

2015 Plans: Skirmish vs Big battles? Time for a sort out!

The work bench really, really needs a sort out!


Well, the process of writing my Wargaming review has actually got me picking up a paintbrush for the first time since mid-October.  Not for very long but it broke a psychological barrier.  I also did a bit of basing and did some work on the helmets of my Afghan Wars British to make them look more suitable for 1879.  The key problem now is the really bad light.  I have two daylight lamps on my desk but can't really paint shading without good daylight.

One of the things I discovered last year is that, thanks mainly to the work I did on IHMN figures, I really enjoy painting individual character figures and don't enjoy painting units.  Now given this, and given the fact that I am totally unable to focus on even as little as a few dozen periods, is it not now time to just admit that I am never going to be able to finish enough figures to field an army for a big battle?  People with the focus of Giles and Big Red Bat are much to be admired as they don't stray too far from their core interests.  I am sitting here looking at a based and undercoated Great War Miniatures British Crimean War infantry man. Am I really ever going to paint enough units for the Battle of the Alma?  No, is the brutal answer.  I have played in a few large games at Guildford (Republican and Early Imperial Roman, ECW and Wars of the Roses) where I could contribute my hundred figures or so to other people's larger collections.  In reality, I think, this is the only way I will be able to do big battles using my own figures.  So time to forget building armies that require several hundred figures, I think.


Wars of the Roses at Guildford Wargames Club.  Not much scenery required


However, there is a problem with skirmish games for me.  If you have two big armies facing each other in your typical ancients or medieaval game you really don't need much in the way of scenery.  A green cloth, a few trees, some lichen for scrub and maybe a hill.  All the effort and cost goes into the armies.  However, with most skirmish games lots of scenery is usually necessary; almost always to provide cover.  This is because, in many of the sets of rules I have played a hit (or two) means you lose the character and if you are looking at forces of six to 12 figures this can make the game very short indeed (as I have witnessed on one or two occasions).  With big unit battles the units are more resilient and don't get destroyed on first contact.  They can slug it out and maybe even regroup if they are forced back.  So being in the open and getting hit by a flight of arrows is unlikely to lead to your unit being taken off the table instantly.  You don't need to keep them skulking under cover so don't need cover for them to hide behind.  Skirmish games tend to require a lot of scenery and getting suitable scenery done is a problem for me given that I have no craft skills whatsoever, unlike Scott and Eric the Shed who turn out miniature wonders.  So its a trade off between lots of figures and less scenery and less figures and more scenery.  Time and cost wise, I suspect they balance out.


The mini Bosworth game I produced for my son's school project. 


I was talking to my new friend A about the problems of not painting enough figures for an army but she pointed out that, basically, if a unit fights as one whole then why do you need 24 figures when six or one serve the same purpose (I did not then start to describe DBA to her).  When I produced a model of Bosworth for a presentation my son did at school we represented all the major units using just 38 figures.  It is of course, certainly for me, all about the look of the thing (which is why I think DBS armies look ridiculous). Big units look better (as the writers of Warlord Games various rules acknowledge with what was, at the time, an unfashionable focus on large armies).  They are a figure manufacturer, of course, so like their Games Workshop former employers want to shift quantity but it has, to a certain extent, seen a return to Charles Grant sized (well, nearly) units.  


My 48 figure Blue regiment of foot


The first proper set of wargames rules I owned where Charles Grant's Napoleonic ones based on his articles in Military Modelling in the seventies.  These posited 48 man units.   I do actually have two units this size; the only two ECW units I have painted.  The size was dictated by having what looked like a reasonable block of pikemen.  Sixteen figures was as small as I thought looked good and then that dictated the sizes of the sleeves of shot.  I tried a nine man pike unit and it looked odd.  The next size up to keep a square pike block would have been 25 figures leading to 75 man units.  Too much!  For my armies I now work to a 24 man standard size but this would mean that, at most, I could only paint four units a year and that would be if I could focus on one period!


Five colour shading really isn't necessary on 18mm figures, perhaps


The big battle people would say that the obvious solution would be to move down to 15mm or less.  My problem with this is that figures of 12mm or less have ludicrous looking anatomy.  I did too much anatomy while studying art to get over this.  There are a few, a very few, manufacturers who make reasonable looking 15mm figures, which is why I have bought into the War and Empire Kickstarter.  15mm really is sensible for ancients.  The problem is that with the few 15mm (really 18mm, of course, these days) figures I have painted I paint them as if they were 28mm so I don't paint them appreciably faster.  When I was choosing which armies to select for my War and Empire forces I eliminated all those where I had some 28 figures painted, which meant I eliminated nearly everything. This is why I have ended up with Spartacus revolt.  I wanted to go for the Punic Wars but I have quite a lot of 28mm figures painted for this so just couldn't, even though I know that I will never finish an army for either side in this scale.


Muskets & Tomahawks at the Shed


This last year, however, I think I have solved the problem with the appearance of rules like Lion Rampant and the fact that I played my first game of Muskets & Tomahawks.  My force for the latter was three units of six. Admittedly, there were two other players on my side with the same number of figures but that is nine units in total for not many more figures than in my ECW units.  These are both what I would call semi-skirmish games, using around 6o figures a side maximum.  This is an achievable target for me. 


My only painted figures for El Cid


So what does this mean going forward?  I will keep working on IHMN companies and I will jump forward in time with the rules, slightly, to cover The Lost World (I just picked up the lady explorer I had been looking for to finish my characters for this) and the twenties in Egypt and, possibly, the twenties/thirties in Asia.  I will get going on more pirates and Jason and the Argonauts figures too.  I am seeing the Afghan War as a semi-skirmish project so will carry on with that.  I want to do a Lion Rampant force and the logical one would be the Wars of the Roses as I have already got most of the figures but I am also tempted to go back in time and do Crusades or El Cid for this.  There is more to be done on Darkest Africa which is another semi-skirmish project but one where I have painted a lot of figures.  Add to this some Hobbit,  Mars Attacks, WW1 and Texan War of Independence figures and I think I have more than enough to be going on with.  See, even my focus is already losing focus!  Lots of stuff to put on eBay, even so, I think!

Sunday, January 04, 2015

2014 Non-wargaming review

The furthest I got from home this year


This year, as a radical change, I have decided to reverse the publication of my wargaming and non wargaming highlights.  Oh, the excitement.


Travel

Get yourself over to Britain! (and get a profile photo that wasn't taken ten years ago!)


Well, it's certainly been an atypical year in that for the first time since 1986 I didn't make an overseas business trip.  I was scheduled to make some but I passed on them as I have now got really, really scared of flying and major air crashes in the news certainly haven't helped that.  I don't miss it at all, other than not being able to meet up with my particular lady friends.  I think in 2013 I was out the country something like 60 days.  The worst year recently was over 200 days.  The stress of airport security, connecting flights, baggage allowances, operating in places where they don't speak your language, dodgy food and dodgy women (alright some of them have been OK) is not missed!  I did make two flights to see Charlotte in Edinburgh in August but I think next time I will take the train.  I've visited 62 countries and hundreds of cities around the world over the last 30 years.  The most eastern was Seoul in Korea, the most western was Victoria in Canada, the most southern was Augusta in Western Australia and the most northern was Tromso in Norway, which is actually more than 200 miles inside the Arctic Circle.  I've done enough travelling!  The fact that I have been more productive on the painting front certainly has something to do with this!


Biggest upheaval 

His majesty's suite


All the stuff around our mini extension.  Deliveries of bricks at 6.15 in the morning, stuff all over the garden, having to buy a shed to put everything in from the demolished garage and planning applications, engineering studies (the clay soil here makes normal foundations insufficient) etc.  All not to provide me with a wargames room but to give my son a splendid room and bathroom he doesn't deserve, given his A/S level exam results.  As my daughter said when she saw it for the first time just before Christmas: Scummage!  


 Best day out 

It's a Lost World in the botanical gardens


Probably the day we all had in Edinburgh where we went to the botanical gardens, an unexpectedly enjoyable attraction, visited the Museum of Scotland (excellent) and went to a show at the Edinburgh fringe featuring flexible Australian women (there were some men in the cast but I don't see men).


Best improvement in the local environment



Not the extension but the fact that the people across the road with the horrible little yapping dog (it was one of those ridiculous terriers with a pom pom tail as big as its head so, like a pushmi-pullyu, you could never work out which way it was going until it went for your ankles) moved out in November.  Our new neighbour is the, er, face of a well known healthy breakfast cereal (the picture of her above may give you a Special Klue!).  Having a lingerie model move in opposite is a lot better than a dog.  A dog she is not!


Best Book



The book I enjoyed most was Egypt's Belle Epoque by Trevor Mostyn.  An account of that brief period when Cairo became a new Paris and saw the building of the Suez Canal, the premiere of Verdi's Aida, and a building programme stylistically reminiscent of Haussmann's in Paris. It was an intriguingly cosmopolitan society of Greek bankers, Levantine merchants British officers, archaeologists, French architects, Italian ladies of ill-repute, Circassian dancing girls, Turks, Egyptian princesses of dubious morals and profligate spending by the royal family.  It all helped provide background for my planned pulp Egyptian adventures this year, which will be set in the late nineteenth century as well as the nineteen twenties.  Not to mention my erotic story The Croissant Sisters, which started as a brief diversion for my friend Sophie and now runs to 400 pages with three ladies contributing scenario ideas.  I will be featuring some of the non-naughty bits on my Pulp blog shortly.


Best Film


Go'zirra!




I didn't get to the cinema at all last year; I didn't even see the Desolation of Smaug on the big screen.  Because I was at home all year I did watch a lot of films on DVD, although choosing one would be tricky.  If I confine myself to ones released in 2014 I did, against expectations, really enjoy Godzilla.  One does sometimes wonder at the amount of technical effort that goes into something so ridiculous but it was well-crafted ridiculousness.  And any film that has Juliette Binoche in it is always worth watching.  

Biggest trashy film disappointment was Hercules which dispensed with his labours in the first ten minutes for some forgettable war with really weirdly anachronistic (at least for the Bronze Age) costumes (costume designers grrr!).  This year's X-Men effort was really boring and just goes to show that Jennifer Lawrence's body, despite the evidence provided by its leaked exposure (thanks Sophie for getting those to me before Miss Lawrence's lawyers bombarded the net with threats of writs), is not a patch on Sports Illustrated model; Rebecca Romijn's from the original films.


Best TV Show



I am still catching up on the many series I have to watch on DVD but I am really enjoying Vikings, which I am now working through the second series of. Rather over-designed clothes but good buildings and ships (on the whole). For this year, I'm looking forward to Wolf Hall where they have gone to great lengths to ensure authentic costumes but I'm not certain how the Bernard Cornwell The Last Kingdom will look (it's being made by the team behind Downton Abbey) but its got Ripper Street's Matthew Macfadzen and Rutger Hauer in.   I'm not convinced the BBC can do justice to War & Peace in six, hour long, episodes.  I remember the superb 20 episode, 17 hour version from 1972 with a young Anthony Hopkins.  It had some big battle scenes shot in Yugoslavia with hundreds of extras and using many of the uniforms made for Waterloo.  I suppose these will all be digital now.

Guilty pleasure was Nashville which had more partner swapping and cliffhanger endings than any show I've seen since Dallas plus Heroes' Hayden Panty-liner in a lot of very short skirts.  Yee ha.


Biggest annoyance

Trollied


Not quite Tess Daly, on Strictly Come Dancing, who, like a life-sized talking Barbie, only appears to have twelve programmable phrases ("they're on their feet" being the most popular - yes, Tess, we can actually see that people have stood up to give a standing ovation).

No. I'm afraid, again, it is my least favourite activity, supermarket shopping.  What is lacking (at least around where I live where supermarket staff have to be specially trained in how to deal with stuck up millionaire's wives who treat the staff appallingly) is any sort of supermarket trolley discipline. Manoeuvering around a supermarket in Surrey, even during the week, is rather akin to taking part in a chariot race at the Circus Maximus or driving a taxi in Cairo. What is needed is a supermarket trolley equivalent of the cycling proficiency test which most children in Britain take at school (with the exception of the Legatus, of course, who didn't learn to ride a bicycle until he was 34). Anyone who hasn't passed this test will not be allowed to push a trolley around a supermarket at all. This will be designed to prevent behaviour such as: Parking your trolley at a 45 degree angle across the aisle (keep your trolley parallel with the shelves at all times!), parking your trolley right in front of a popular section (like smoked salmon, in Surrey) whilst you wander off to look for some lemongrass (if you have to park your trolley keep a gap between it and the shelves so others can still access them), parking your trolley across the main access aisle while you get a free frothy coffee from the machine, stopping next to another trolley whilst you chat to your friend about their Christmas in Antigua, moving down the aisle and then stopping dead whilst you take a mobile phone call from your friend in Antigua and parking your trolley right next to a supermarket unloading cart which is already blocking more than half of the aisle. These are just parking offences and are nothing compared with the people who: Let their horrid little children stand in trolleys so their Labrador faeces-covered shoes can totally infect them, let horrid little children ride on the side of the trolley so that they crash into everyone else, let their horrid little children push the trolleys in a totally uncontrolled fashion and those who actually crash their trolleys into you or your trolley as they fight their way across the fruit and vegetable section (this area in Waitrose in Hersham is a battleground) under the impression that they are commanding a T34 at the Battle of Kursk. Non-compliance with the new Supermarket Trolley Proficiency code will be enforced by people carrying electrified cattle prods who just need to touch an errant trolley to ensure a healthy dose of volts for the miscreant. Supermarkets. Grrr!


Best Musical Discoveries



I have enjoyed listening to Chinese pianist Yuja Wang's solo CD's this year, although her rather frenetic Rachmaninov 3rd was disappointing.  I tend to think of Einaudi as the worst sort of pootling New Age composer but I have been very taken by his Passaggio as performed by Daniel Hope on violin and Jacques Ammon on piano from Hope's excellent CD Sphere.  I don't like any modern popular music on account of the fact that it is all rubbish, although I did discover and enjoy First Aid Kit's remarkable My Silver Lining, no doubt conditioned by my Nashville watching.  

I do appreciate slushy light music and really enjoyed Ron Goodwin's Music for an Arabian night (1959)/Holiday in Beirut (1962) double album which sounds (not surprisingly) like a film score from a sixties spy film.   It's like Les Baxter meets Henry Mancini.  Talking of Henry Mancini my new friend A (the best thing to happen to me all year - you never know who you are going to meet in Sainsburys) bought me the new Henry Mancini Soundtrack collection for Christmas. It has 18 film scores on nine discs, including the Fran Jeffries version of Meglio Stasera from the Pink Panther and the soundtrack to What did you do in the War, Daddy ?which has a wonderfully catchy theme tune I've been trying to get hold of since I first saw the film on TV in the seventies.


Food and drink



My food, wine and beer review will appear on my food blog shortly.


Best Artistic discovery





The work of Italian illustrator Umberto Brunelleschi whose Art Deco illustrations and designs brightened up many magazines, books and theatrical performances in the 1920s and 1930s.


Best Sporting event



Going up to London to watch the Tour de France go along the Embankment, although cycling has to be one of the worst spectator sports to watch live and I didn't find out who won the stage until I could watch the recording at home.


Worst few days



The time last January when we had to prepare my parents in laws house on the Thames for imminent flooding before they were evacuated by the Royal Engineers.  The water got to within one inch of the doorstep before, fortunately, it receded but we had a tense week.

Saturday, January 03, 2015

2014 Wargames Review


The Servants of Ra - my favourite group of painted figures this year


2014 has been an atypical one for me on the wargames front so is worthy of a quick (!) review.


Figures Painted

My biggest painted force for 2014


I was pleased to get 114 figures done, my biggest total since 2011.  However, in the last quarter of the year I didn't paint anything at all, for a number of reasons.  I'm going through one of those 'just don't feel like it' phases and have been blogging instead.  Actually, my initial halt was caused by the Artizan Afghan Wars British.  I had enjoyed painting the tribesmen and had rattled through quite a big group quite quickly.  I thought that the British would be nice  and quick to paint but then I realised that there was something wrong with the figures.  Essentially they are wearing 1879 uniform but 1898 helmets, as far as I can see.  This quite put me off them.  Having stopped painting them I didn't have mush else close to being finished so I stopped painting anything else either.  This, coupled with the bad light and the fact that I had to take Guy to rowing three times a week meant a dead stop.  So let's hope I can get going again in 2015.

Anyway this year I managed:

28 Afghans
28 Empire of the Dead/In Her Majesty's Name
26 Alamo Mexicans
12 The Hobbit
11 Darkest Africa
4 Pirates
3 Ancient Egyptian
1 Pulp
1 British Legion

I would not expect 2015 to be that different.


Wargames played 



The record breaking number of wargames I have played this year (nine) is almost entirely down to the generosity of Eric the Shed, who has hosted me for eight games in seven visits to his marvellous shed, along with a group of excellent like-minded chaps.  Three Very British Civil War Games using Bolt Action, two Warmaster fantasy games, a Muskets and Tomahawks game (probably my favourite, as it is a period I would like to do myself one day) and a game based on the film Predator, using his own rules, which was quite the most exciting wargame I have ever played.  I also had a very enjoyable game of In Her Majesty's Name with Alastair at Guildford, in my one visit there this year.  I can now call myself a wargamer rather than just a figure painter!


Scenics




I always mean to paint some scenery so I can have a game at home but just never seem to get anywhere.  I bought a number of scenic items this year including palm trees and the new Renedra Middle Eastern House.  All were dwarfed by the huge Alamo model I bought from the US, however.  I started to paint one small piece but realised that using Humbrol 14ml tins was going to be a bit hopeless.  Now, however, our local B&Q has one of those computerised paint scanning services so all I need to do is paint a sample of the colour I want and they will reproduce it in a large tin.

Shows



I only got to the one wargames show this year, which was Salute, as my favourite show, Colours, was cancelled this year.  I didn't go to Warfare, as I usually do, because I actually have decided I really mustn't be tempted by any more figures!  Highlight of Salute was the appearance of my specially painted Roman Galley in Big Red Bat's epic Roman invasion of Britain game.


New Figures



The reduction of the lead pile has not gone well.  I have bought more than 770 figures  this year-or about seven years worth of painting!  All sorts of random stuff ,much of which is related to Kickstarters and the like but not all.  How do I explain all the Crimean figures, Afghan War, even more Romans, The Hobbit and WW1 stuff?  Best not to think about it but for 2015 a huge amount has to go.  Am I really going to paint all those Foundry Bronze Age Europeans or Ancient Egyptians?  No.

Kickstarters and pre-orders

Who wouldn't want lots of Egyptian harem girls?


These were my downfall.  Most of the figures that arrived were ones I committed to in 2013 but the figures have been arriving in big boxes over the year, such as the Sikh Wars figures. Wargods of Olympus and War and Empire have yet to arrive.  New ones were the Interdimensional Bestiary, the Egyptian Harem figures (two of these - one not here yet) and of course the big pre-order of all the North Star pirates.  Buying figures in big batches really isn't what I should be doing. I was actually happier with the Artizan NW Frontier Afghans which I bought and painted in batches as they were released.  No more figures!


Wargames good news




The real find was discovering that Hurst's in Cowes had started re-stocking the washers I use to base my skirmish figures. I am well stocked for the next couple of years, hopefully.  The more recent good news is the fact that North Star will be making Pulp Figures available in the UK without the risk of horrific import duty and handling charges, which had really made ordering from the US prohibitive.   I think I had about £60 to pay on my Alamo model. Pulp Figure offer a tremendous range for nineteen thirties adventures, although some figures are a bit cartoon-like for me and their female figures are really, really ugly.  I don't want to deal with unattractive women at any scale (some of the Dark Fable Harem Miniatures are dodgy too) but not everyone can sculpt women as well as Mike Owen, Brother Vinni and Mark Copplestone, I suppose.

I also, unusually, put my name forward for a blog competition and, much to my surprise won a superb prize, from Mr Daniel Mersey, of his Lion Rampant rules and his book on King Arthur.


Wargames bad news



I was pretty happy with all the figures I bought apart from the Mars Attacks ones, the quality of which were rather disappointing. Even more disappointing was the failure of Mantic Games to produce the fifties style US infantry that were anachronistically used in the Tim Burton film.  Warlord US Marines, which they put in my order instead, aren't really an adequate substitute but at least I will have a use for them.  Other than using them the Martians in a US desert town setting (I have been taken with the Sally 4th shotgun shacks which remind me of a town I drove through in Arizona once) I might pitch them into Victorian London using the new Martian invasion IHMN rules.

Sadly (stupidly), Osprey chose not to produce any further supplements to IHMN but this is not stopping the redoubtable Messrs Cartmell and Murton who go from strength to strength with new ideas for the format.

The other big disappointment is the fact that all the new ranges by Steve Saleh for his own Lucid Eye venture and North Star seem to have been cut down by him being hired by Warlord Games (the new evil empire - that nonsense over their "28mm" walls told me everything I needed to now about their attitude to customers).  In particular, I liked his Neanderthals and hoped for more Lost World type figures in his Core range.  Worse, was the end of the exciting looking Bronze Age figures he had begun, with Mycenaeans and Trojans promised.


Wargames Blogs

There is more to life than toy soldiers


I did 111 posts on this blog in 2014, surprisingly.  The blog now has 189 followers, amazingly, and this year I passed the 150 followers and 250,000 views milestones close together.  I am amazed that anyone looks at this blog but I get between 250 and 400 views a day, which is not quite up to the 10,000 a day I get on my girly blog but then women are much more interesting than model soldiers, I have always felt. The most viewed post was my 500th one, with over a thousand views; odd considering it was mainly about James Burke rather than soldiers.  Running a close second was my post on the re-branding of the Games Workshop store in Edinburgh but this was a rare occasion when I actually linked a post on The Miniatures Page.

I set up a number of new blogs this year including: Legatus' Victoriana Wargames,  Americas Wargaming and Legatus' Food and Wine blog.  Talking of food and wine, thanks to an introduction from Big Red Bat (who gets more and more famous every year), I had an article published in the second issue of the excellent new Wargames Bloggers Quarterly.  Needless to say, it was more about food than wargaming, Poulet Marengo in fact, but it was fun to do and more interesting than my other published article last year in Commonwealth Development Review!

I was nominated again for a Liebster Blog Award by Lee which was very gratifying. I am always pleased by those who bother to read and comment on my blog and I really enjoy looking at everyone else's inspirational efforts.  There are some who follow my blog who I have been unable to follow in return.  This is something to do with those who use Google Friend Connect which I don't.  I am afraid I also don't respond to Google+ requests as I'm not sure what it is, other than it distributes too much information about yourself.


TMP



There was, of course, much entertainment about the accusations and denials around the editor of The Miniatures Page and his coterie of female editors, who turned out not to be female at all.  However, unlike Ray Davies in his song Lola, Mr A seemed very aware of the situation.  I haven't seen so much desperate wriggling trying to get off the hook since my particular friend Sophie caught a large Wahoo off Miami Beach a few years ago.  Frothers Unite (a site I hadn't really registered before) gleefully predicted the death knell of TMP.  TMP claimed Frothers attacks had totally failed and TMP was as strong as ever.   As renewal season (as we used to call it at Lloyd's of London) approaches I was thinking about not continuing my supporting membership, as supporting TMP sometimes feels like supporting the BNP.  I am not exactly left wing but some of the people there make me feel like Citizen Smith (aka Russell Brand) in comparison.  However, in a calculated masterstroke, the TMP editor has set up a system so that if you are not a supporting member your screen is bombarded by inappropriate pop-up ads.  I looked at the Lead Adventure Forum, which is quite good but just doesn't have the breadth and traffic.  I found Frothers really quite odious.  I was reminded of this in a discussion about "banter" regarding an incident on I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here this year, which my son was watching.  Apparently, it is considered quite normal in some male parts of UK society (sports clubs were mentioned, especially) to routinely insult people as a joke.  I'm sorry, but if anyone insults or swears at me you can hop off: I don't want to have anything to do with you at all.  This is probably why the male to female ratio of my friends is about one male to every ten women.

Anyway, I pretty much only look at TMP for news now but for that I find Wargames News and Terrain much better.  Maybe I will do another year of supporting membership while I have a lot of stuff to sell.

Finally, I was rather shocked to discover that the notorious Tango01 on TMP had done a post featuring some of my Darkest Africa figures.  Infamy at last!


Plans for the next quarter

To paint anything!




While writing this post I have been listening to Eric Serra's enjoyable soundtrack to The Extraordinary Adventures of Adele Blanc-Sec (the recent film I would most like to see a sequel to).  I first came across Serra's music with his soundtrack to groovy 80s film Subway but his music is variable.  His synthesised Bond score for Goldeneye was terrible with the orchestral bits being written by leader of the Strictly Come Dancing orchestra, Dave Arch.  The Adele score is delightful however and would make a perfect background for Parisian and Egyptian set steampunk adventures.

Thursday, December 25, 2014

Merry Christmas to everyone!



Well, you didn't think I'd have a picture of model soldiers did you?

Hope you all have/had a lovely day!

Friday, December 05, 2014

Something for the Weekend: Sheena Easton





We have had several incredulous comments about the presence of a Sheena Easton poster visible in a picture of  our old university room.  In our defence we offer some pictures of her on our Legatu's Wargames Ladies blog, although there is nothing racy about these pictures (sadly).

Monday, December 01, 2014

Utter chaos...and babydolls





No, this isn't something to do with Warhammer forces.  Incidentally, the ridiculously Rococo models that GW started to produce for their Chaos forces were really the first slide down the slippery slope of ludicrous over-encrustation which has led to many of their models being too detailed to paint for youngsters.  Simplify the models and young people can paint more of them more quickly!  No, the chaos I'm talking about is that in my "playroom", as it is dubbed.  For various reasons we have to move a lot of stuff around in the loft which will mean, essentially, taking everything out of it.  This really is a nightmare as it is completely full.  Given my room is already over-stuffed I have decided to put a lot of things on eBay to give me space for things I really want to keep.  Looking around yesterday I was struck by the number of plastic model kits up there and I decided that as I haven't completed a model  kit for something like twenty years I really am not going to get around to all of this lot.  So I retrieved some of them and have started putting them on eBay.  Most of them I didn't even remember buying!  


My room at university in the third year


Despite this evidence to the contrary I am usually a reasonably tidy and ordered person and untidy people (yes, Sophie I am thinking about you) drive me around the bend.  This is also apposite given some of the comments I have received in my recent Proliferation of Blogs post.  Given my mother was a very tidy person (she still is; she is still "tidying up" everybody else's possessions at the old peoples home) it was only when I went to University that I realised that not everyone was like that.  The worst example I encountered was in my third year when I was living out in North Oxford while all my friends managed to bag rooms in college for the third year.  Because my room was very small I had to be very tidy anyway.

On the ground floor of the large Victorian house six of us shared, lived F, an aristocratic Classicist from one of the women's colleges whose father was something very senior in the government.  F was the most disorganised person I had ever met.  She could not cook and lived on cold kidney beans and cold custard, all eaten (often together) straight from the tin.  She could make tea but was unable to buy milk (she could never find any money) and if she did it was probably off by the time she offered it to anyone.  She was, not surprisingly, a skinny girl but was blessed with  a surprisingly large bust (as I later discovered).  She also seemed to be incapable of operating hi-tech equipment, such as drawers.  All of her clothes were just strewn on the floor, as were her books, music cassettes, tins of beans and custard, soap, toothpaste, lacrosse equipment, tampons, pens, crockery, clothes pegs (never used, as far as I could see), bottles and bottles of Fairy liquid (also never used - she must have won a competition) etc.  I am not exaggerating when I say that her carpet (I did see it once) was covered to a depth of about six inches.  Her room looked like the garbage compactor in the original Star Wars film.  Now some people who take this approach to, say, papers on their desk or floor (most lawyers) can instantly locate anything at a moment's notice but F was hopeless.  She would run up to my room on the second floor at least three times a day desperate to get help in looking for something she needed (usually a book but sometimes her written work) before a tutorial.  It was like being one of those poor Brazilian children who spend their lives picking through refuse tips.  Quite often you would find something only to discover it was stuck to something else with a vaguely unidentifiable but invariably sticky substance of indeterminate origin.  Once I did find an open pot of mouldy Marmite with a lolly stick (or spoon, as she referred to it) embedded in it like some disgusting Excalibur.  She did throw away the Marmite but kept the stick, or, at least, dropped it back on the floor.  Needless to say the room was soon infested with woodlice, spiders, mice and probably packs of feral pigs.  "How do I kill the mice without killing them?" she wailed, when our landlady, an eminent Italian Egyptologist, returning from her annual dig in the spring, threatened to take everything out of her room and incinerate it.  All sorts of humane traps followed and the University Parks were soon awash in a lemming-like tide of mice. 

One evening I was happily sitting up in my room listening to Reginald Goodall's Rhinegold on my radio cassette player (I remember paying £149 for this in 1979 - not everything is more expensive now) when she knocked on the door yet again.  She had invited her two tutors for dinner, they were arriving in one hour and she hadn't planned anything to eat.  Could I help?  All I could manage was a very large spaghetti Bolognaise, which essentially used up my food supplies for the next four days.  I cooked while she tried to locate plates and clear her desk which we then had to drag into the middle of her room to serve as a dining table. As I pulled the desk across the carpet she had to shovel the floor-bound detritus out of the way using a Wellington boot.  I turned down the offer of joining her for dinner with her professors (she picked the plates and cutlery off the floor and laid them straight on the table - the Fairy liquid obviously being of unknown use to her) and she never did replace the food. 

Now at that point my girlfriend, C, was living in another women's college and was getting annoyed that every time she came round F would knock on the door (usually at a very inappropriate moment).  "Are you having an affair with that frightful girl?" C asked one evening, in her rather over-dramatic, Celia Johnson way (what sort of eighteen year old speaks like that?). 

"Of course not!  She's untidy! She's ghastly!  And annoying!  And not very clean!"  I replied, quite truthfully.  

Needless to say, within a few days F turned up at my door once again but this time dressed in a babydoll nightie with matching knickers.  I immediately saw her in a new light; the light from my desk which was making her outfit almost completely transparent.  Actually, my first thought was to wonder how long had it taken her to find two matching articles of clothing.

Younger readers may not appreciate the excitement of the babydoll which, even in the early eighties was rather old fashioned although, on the right woman, was very, very effective.  A subsequent girlfriend, V, who we have featured before, also had a fine selection of them.  F looked, as my friend HMS would have said, "most diverting".





This particularly diverting article of women's clothing gets its name from the 1956 film Baby Doll starring Carroll Baker who wears such an outfit and, thereby, caused an overnight fashion sensation, to the delight of men everywhere. Originally this style was designed for children so having an adult wearing something so short was extremely daring, even though Baker's outfits from the film look comparatively modest by today's standards.  It reached its zenith in the sixties and the ne plus ultra example of the garment was worn by Ann Margaret in the Dean Martin spy-spoof Murderer's Row (1966).



Ann Margaret dolled-up


My first personal experience of a babydoll was in Paris in 1972. The entire first year of my school went on a French trip to Paris and Dieppe.  In Paris we were put in dormitories of about eight, in a special international schools hostel. The Legatus and his classmates, Lugs, Dobbin and Smuttley (the latter two he still sees; one is a property lawyer and the other a BBC TV producer) for some reason ended up having to share with four Germans who were considerably older than us (we were twelve). That first night three or four very well developed German girls appeared in the dormitory after lights out, to see their male friends. All were wearing chiffon babydolls with knickers but, very obviously in at least one case, nothing underneath the top. The Legatus and Dobbin, who were somewhat more mature than the other two at this stage (in fact, I was already about 5' 10" tall at this time), were exceedingly diverted by these gorgeously leggy (one of the side effects of a babydoll is that anyone wearing one looks leggy) young women who were, probably, about seventeen.  The German girls thought we were "dear little English boys".  Dobbin and I thought they were the ultimate personification of female sexuality.  The fact that they then sat on our beds almost drove us insane. One of these girls actually patted me on the head and everything under the top half of her nightie jiggled enticingly.  This first proper encounter with the opposite sex had emboldened us both. We then moved to Dieppe for the second half of the trip. Foolishly, the teachers put the four of us in a small annexe to the main hostel. Within minutes Dobbin and the Legatus were out onto the street and down the road to the local magasin where we brought several litres of cider (we looked older than we were, luckily).  In the shop we met two French girls who were also staying at the hostel who, whilst older than us (they were fourteen), were not as intimidating and out of reach as the Germans. They needed little persuasion (fortunately Dobbin's French was much better than mine) to return to our quiet annexe, where they happily swigged our cider and, in return, stripped to their underwear, which was considerably more French than we imagined the girls in the school next doors to ours at home wore. So, it was. thanks to the confidence given me by talking to provocatively babydoll clad German girls. that the Legatus had his first proper snog and, indeed, my first squeeze of a silk-clad female bosom. I still remember her name, Francoise. Any further developments were stalled by the unexpected arrival of the wife of one of our French teachers. Fortunately, she was French herself, so just politely told the girls to get dressed and disappear. She poured the rest of the cider down the washbasin but never said anything to our French teacher. In fact she was trying not to laugh all the way through the process. What a sound lady!

Anyway, it wasn't cider that F was clutching ten years later but a bottle of wine and not just any bottle of wine but a Chateau Palmer 1970.  "Do you have a corkscrew?" she asked.  She had one but, needless to say, couldn't find it.  I opened it for her expecting her to take it down to some hapless visitor but she had brought it for me!  Well, the evening proceeded as well as you might imagine given a bottle of classed growth claret and a girl in a chiffon babydoll.  I was amused, when the time came, however to discover that F had put her nightie on the wrong way round!  Today, she is Dr F, still a very striking looking lady and an award winning TV documentary producer. Somewhere along the line she must have become organised!

So, I am planning a major push on eBay to clear some of this stuff out of the house as I am fundmentally embarrassed to be existing in such utter chaos!